The Noise

This is the Life

Stats:

times cried: 2
close calls: 3
cups of coffee: 4
time difference between here and France: 9 hours
days until Jake comes back: 14
days until the 'rents come back: 5
feeling: industrious
listening to: "Hopeless Rom-Antics Super Shuffle"(mix) and Nickel Creek
reading: Under the Overpass by Mike Yankoski
learning: to adapt when the plan falls through (flexibility)
highlights: iMessage works internationally(!!!), watching the light change, extreme productivity, meeting up with my mentor, warm coffee and a cozy spot on the couch outside Starbucks.

Weekly Update:

As I'm sure you can imagine, this week has been up and down. But after the emotional rollercoaster of Jake's departure for France and the circumstances surrounding it, I've settled into a rhythm of life. Wake up at 6. Feed Pat. Shoot Pat (insulin shot). Work in the yard while listening to music that reminds me of Jake. Eat Breakfast. Shower. Work. Clean. Sit on the back porch and watch the light change. Take pictures. Ask Siri what time it is in France. Scroll through the newsfeed on Facebook. Make dinner. Watch Movies. Write Jake another letter at the end of the day. Go to Sleep. And repeat. It's not a bad lifestyle, actually--minus Jake's absence of course. I've been feeling super productive between cleaning every flat surface in the kitchen and baking scones and hard labor in the yard (pictures coming soon) in the early mornings. I'm turning into a regular housewife! It's scaring me! The productivity helps a lot though and I find that while I miss Jake a lot, it's not a gnawing ache in my heart (or at least not as much as it could be).

Honestly, the part I'm having the most trouble with is the silence. All this silence is making me realize how much noise there is in my life--not just physical sound, but just mental...noise. Too many things clambering for my attention. Too many thoughts rolling through my head. And I still reach for my tunes. (Bluegrasss is playing in the background right now!) Jake and I talked about that recently--being surrounded with so much noise that you can't hear God. And I thought to myself, I don't really struggle with that, because I don't mind the silence. I don't mind being still, sitting on the back porch with my iced tea and just listening--a thoughtful kind of idleness. But the past two days... noise is all I crave. I love the quiet; I hate the quiet. I love the noise; I hate the noise. It takes all my willpower to turn off the music. 

We're getting along, but I will be glad when life returns to some form of normalcy, or when Jake gets back. Whichever happens first.