FIFA Takes Over My Life

Stats:

watching: soccer
games watched: 15+
recipes tried: 4
mood: obsessive
listening to: Gungor radio
learning: prepare all your food before you cook it, html/css coding,
highlights: SOCCER, texting Maike, baking, hanging with Jake, reading Gyver's Shack 

Update:

I have been watching an embarrassing number of soccer games from the World Cup, but I love it! And I am becoming a regular soccer expert! Who am I routeing for? USA of course!! (We watched the nail-biting USAvPortugal game at Buffalo Wild Wings and it was so intense! I love being surrounded by USA fans though. USA fans are crazy... Crazy, but awesome. And I'm one of them!) I'm also routeing for France, not just because I'm learning the language, but the French team is actually really good and I think they might have a chance of getting pretty far this year, if not all the way. I was cheering for England because I watched a lot of the English leagues with Josh earlier this semester so I felt like I knew all the guys; but they were knocked out of Group stage pretty early on. Disappointing, England. I know you can do better! And if all my teams get knocked out, there's always Brazil, the host country! We'll see!

Soccer has literally taken over my life (or at least 4-6 hours of it every day). I find myself rearranging my schedule to catch games! Kind of funny, but I'm totally serious right now. But in other news, Cam has been gone at summer camp this week so the house has been awfully quiet. And Jake has been working full-time directing a theatre camp for kids so he's been pretty busty too. But we get our time in here and there. We caught up over coffee earlier this week and yesterday I brought him lunch and hung around the CYT office. I'm not terribly fond of the lack of communication, but I think the space is a good thing. Meanwhile, I've been hanging out at home, working, watching soccer, and teaching myself computer coding via Codecademy. (It's pretty awesome! Check it out if you're interested in learning that kind of thing.) That's pretty much my life right now. But it's about to get really exciting with the South Tucson missions trip coming up and then Royal Family Kid's Camp right after! More to come.

Cherry Galette

Perhaps I have not mentioned it, but lately, I've been bitten by the cooking bug! And this weekend, I embarked on my own culinary adventure to make this delicious dessert from an old Better Homes and Gardens magazine. I've also been checking out a bunch of the Bon Appétit magazines from the library and they inspire me so much!!

Joyeux fête des pères!!

Dad chose a Mexican restaurant called Guadalajara for his fancy Father's Day dinner, where the mariachis are delicious and the food is harmonious! Or rather, the reverse. ;)

Seriously though, these mariachis were excellent musicians. 

I was a little starstruck by their patio-decor. All of it was pleasantly romantic and I found myself enchanted by such minute details as these laser-cut plastic flags, decorative tiles, and the curved edges of adobe walls. Mmm mmm. I love the aesthetic.

Aww!! Maman et Papa! So adorable! Happy Father's Day!

Baklava: Part 2 (Tasting)

After a long day of training for Royal Family Kids Camp (a 5 day camp for foster kids coming up in July!) we celebrated with an evening filled with smoked brisket, buttery chins, good fellowship, and of course, baklava. As a result of our different methods of cooking and combinations of ingredients, both dishes were truly unique to one another.

Cameron's entry was rich and dense and soaked in perhaps too much honey-syrup. His pan achieved a beautiful caramel brown color and a flaky crusty-ness.

Our dish was lighter with stronger cinnamon flavors, reminiscent of Mom's apple crisp. Unfortunately, it was a little more blonde compared to Cameron's due to less oven time and all that extra butter (2 sticks more, or double what the recipe called for) prevented some of that flakiness from forming.

The verdict? The dishes were too different to declare a winner and a very solid tie was agreed upon by all parties involved!!

Happy Again

Stats:

pictures with Jake: 23+ (I think there's more, but I can't find them)
trips to Starbucks: 3
trips to RR: 3
happiness: extra high
sleep cycle: still normal
feeling: generous and happy
reading: Radical by David Platt 
learning: how to bake Baklava!, I need to rethink my definition of "greatness"
highlights: Jake coming home, hearing all about France, visiting Kristina while she was sick, free-writing, baklava

Weekly Update:

Well! It's Friday and yes it is very hot in Tucson (consistently over 100 degrees) the sun is shining and it's summer and Jake is home again, and once more life is starting to feel sunny and bright. Of course, it is wonderful to have him back again. We spent the first night just being together and trying to catch up,but knowing at the same time that it would take us a while to fully catch up. A lot of life happens in two weeks. Of course I feel like there are still many things which I still haven't told him and vice versa, but I trust they will come in due time.

This week, I've been working hard and playing harder and of course spending quite a lot of time with my love. I'm still making time for my other friends though. Yesterday, there was baklava and today, a few of my girl friends are coming over to play cards and hang out. Earlier this morning, I went grocery shopping to pick up some sandwich stuff and I couldn't help a little spring in my step as I waltzed into my favorite bakery--the Boulangerie for some rolls and then popped over to Sunflower for some fruit and cucumbers. I don't know what it was, but I felt like showering everyone I encountered with smiles today. Must be summer.

Baking Baklava

Baklava.... It began while eating pizza at a restaurant that used to be My Big Fat Greek Restaurant. "We went there for my birthday once." I said, "And we got baklava!"

"I saw a recipe for Baklava!" Stacey said, "I've been meaning to try it!"

And Cameron piped up, "Alton Brown [his cooking idol] has a recipe for Baklava!"

Thus our competition was born: The Great Baklava-ke-off (pronounced bah-klah-vah-klauff, a mish mash of Baklava and Bake-off) in which two teams go head to head to see whose baklava recipe is better!!! 

This week in Photos (6/2-6/7)

All iPhone photos this time. Perhaps I'll pick up the fancy camera this week... We'll see.

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit your own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."

-Thomas Merton

Days until Jake returns: 1

Stats:

days Jake has been gone: 16
days until Jake gets home: 1
days until I see Jake: 3
pages written while he was gone: 55
pages read: 91
currently reading: The Shack by WM. Paul Young
learning: where I am right now is OKAY for me to be. A lot happens in two weeks. 
highlights: talking to Milea, making a French roast chicken, spending time with friends
looking forward to: soccer game tomorrow, exchanging our letters

Weekly Update:

A lot of the posts this week were pre-scheduled so while I'm still wrestling a lot with discontentment, figuring out the future, and how my private desires fit in with God's plan, I can feel myself coming out on the other side through the encouragement of my friends. I'm learning that where I am right now is okay for me to be. I don't have to be anywhere else but here. Not in Paris. Not in Orlando (internship). Not in South America (teaching English). Or wherever. I'm still wrestling for sure, but I'm learning to trust God too.

Jake will be Stateside tonight! The few texts we've been able to exchange this week and last through iMessage have been a true Godsend, making the weeks feel a little more bearable. It will be good to have him home again. He flies in to San Diego tonight and then he and Josh will be driving back into Tucson over the weekend. I'll probably see him on Sunday. That's all for this week! 

How Facebook Feeds Discontentment

Lately, I've been really convicted by the discontentment and jealousy I harbor in my life. I found myself scrolling through the news-feed on Facebook and envying the experiences of others. So-and-so went to Argentina! I wish I could travel. Or seeing all the girls dolled up for prom- I wish we had had a prom in high school. Or the engagements and wedding photos! I wish I was closer to that stage of life. Seeing the pictures and trips and job promotions and funny stories of my friends just made me want things that I didn't have...right now.

There are some things that just cannot be (prom for example), but many other things that can be had in time. It is these things (travel, careers, marriage etc.) that cause me the most heartache for they are the earnest desires of my heart but I remain in a constant state of waiting and looking forward. I've always been looking forward. Things will be better when.... I'm older. I'm graduated from college. I'm living on my own. I have a good job. I'm married. I have money. I can travel. Or even more recently--things will be better when my parents come home or Jake comes back. I have constantly told myself, If I can just get through this thing now, I can move on to the next thing. And then (subconsciously I thought), I'd be happy. But these are only empty promises I make to myself; and when I finally get to the next thing, there is always something else

I've also noticed that in my hunger to hear (other people's) stories (something Facebook makes accessible without the pressure of "real" human interaction--a rant for another day), I often lose sight of my own. It's easy to think my mundane existence in Tucson, Arizona is less exciting, less adventurous, less valuable or less insert-your-own-adjective-here because it is not something else. It's not a foreign exchange program in China, or a mission's trip to France. It's not wedding-planning or scoring great internships in preparation for my "dream job" or starting non-profits for good causes. It's pretty ordinary. There are some moments where I can be content with ordinary. But it's hard. And I can't do it if I'm constantly immersing myself in the details of other people's lives to the point where I am not living my own.

So, in a couple days, I'm going to take the summer off from Facebook. The blog will still be running, but I really  want to focus on being present and enjoying my life for what it is instead of resenting it for what it isn't.

"Consolation"

Consolation

How agreeable it is not to be touring Italy this summer,
wandering her cities and ascending her torrid hill towns.
How much better to cruise these local, familiar streets,
fully grasping the meaning of every road sign and billboard
and all the sudden hand gestures of my compatriots.

There are no abbeys here, no crumbling frescoes or famous
domes and there is no need to memorize a succession
of kings or tour the dripping corners of a dungeon.
No need to stand around a sarcophagus, see Napoleon's
little bed on Elba, or view the bones of a saint under glass.

How much better to command the simple precinct of home
than be dwarfed by pillar, arch, and basilica.
Why hide my head in phrase books and wrinkled maps?
Why feed scenery into a hungry, one-eyed camera
eager to eat the world one monument at a time?

Instead of slouching in a café ignorant of the word for ice,
I will head down to the coffee shop and the waitress
known as Dot. I will slide into the flow of the morning
paper, all language barriers down,
rivers of idom running freely, eggs over easy on the way.

And after breakfast, I will not have to find someone
willing to photograph me with my arm around the owner.
I will not puzzle over the bill or record in a journal
what I had to eat and how the sun came in the window.
It is enough to climb back into the car
as if it were the great car of English itself
and sounding my loud vernacular horn, speed off
down a road that will never lead to Rome, not even Bologna.

Somehow, I'm not sure Billy Collins succeeds in convincing me that staying home is better than exploring Italy (or France). But perhaps I can still appreciate even his small consolation(s).

The Formula for Life

No one says there is a formula to life. And yet, young people are inundated with very formulaic advice:
Go to college so you can get a good job. Do what you love. Follow your dreams. If you work hard, you can be anything you want to be. etc. etc. As if these mantras are the key(s) to success and happiness in life.

The end of my college career has brought with it the ambiguity and uncertainty of the unknown future, which is even more magnified by the constant and ever-pressing question of, "What's next?" Everyone wants to know! (Even complete strangers who find out I've recently graduated.) But what a lot of people don't realize is that their well-meaning small talk can put a lot of undue pressure on students who don't know what they want to do yet.

Lately, I've been so frustrated thinking about post-grad life and wrestling to answer this question, "what's next."There are so many possibilities, but a lifetime would never be enough time to taste them all. Should I pursue this? Or that? At what point should I choose skill (what I"m good at) over passion (what I love)? Is it okay to sacrifice some dreams? And if so, which ones? What kinds of dreams should be nonnegotiable? How do I know that my decisions now won't have a negative impact on my future?

I've noticed that there are a lot of invisible standards to live up to. Asking a graduate "What's next?", however well-intentioned, demands that he or she actually know what's next or have a goal or a career or a dream job that they're aiming for.

But it's hard to say, I don't know. 

It's hard to admit that just because you have a degree doesn't mean you have your life together (or even decently planned out). It's hard to tell people your tentative plans knowing they might sound unambitious. Why? Because everyone ëxpects great things"from me. And I don't know if they're being vague on purpose or if it's just the "right"thing to say. What great things do you expect? Yeah, it sounds encouraging in the golden, romantic glow of graduation, but afterward? Life is not so forgiving or easy to navigate as academia.

The formula is easy: grow up, go to college, work hard, get married, save money for retirement, start a family, keep working hard and you can relax in your old age happy and satisfied (and surrounded by loving grandchildren if you're lucky). But life is not math, my friends. It's messy. It's unpredictable. As I've been learning lately, it does not go according to plan. As a highly-organized self-proclaimed planner, that's hard for me. I want the security of having my life carefully mapped out, but Life does not like to be pinned down so easily. And you know what? I'm learning (slowly but surely) to be okay with that, whether it's 16 love letters left behind, or rescheduling the same coffee date 4 times, or simply trusting God with my career path.

Besides, I was never that good at math anyway.

This Week in Photos (5/26-6/1)

"It is up to you to see the beauty of everyday things."

-Unknown Author